I have these random moments when I realize I am pregnant. It is not because I am nauseous or tired. It is not because I have gained 6 or 7 pounds. It is just because. I was driving yesterday and realized I am pregnant. I cried for a large chunk of the ride home while screaming obscenities at the idiots who have no clue how to drive on 95/128. So not only am I thinking, "holy crap this is my life now." I am also thinking, "my child's first word is going to be f*cktard." For three weeks, I tried to control my potty mouth, but I had to let it out yesterday.
Anyway, life is going to be so different in the spring. I am not going to be that parent who stops going out or having a good time because I have a child. However, there may be early nights. There may be early mornings. There will be crying, midnight feedings, more worrying. I know what I got myself into. I understand the life change that I have chosen.
Does Chris understand? He is so quiet about life. He goes through his days calmly. He has his moments of stress, but he lets it pass by. He rarely gets upset or angry. You'll know if he is. We planned this and he keeps telling me that. He knows everything will work out. For some reason he has some kind of sixth sense about things. Deep down I know that we will be a happy family, but these hormonal flashes of reality are rough. : )
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